Recently in Support for Change Category

My wonderful coaching clients ask me frequently, "How do I know if this is the right step?  I'm just so confused." 

To get clear on the next step to take that will be ultimately beneficial for you, answer these three questions first, then move on the path to making your decision.

There are three powerful questions to consider before you address any significant decision:

1) Do you have enough information to make this decision?  If not, get it.

2) Is it the right time to make this decision - if not, then wait.  If so, take the steps listed below.

3) How important is this decision?  If it's not at all important to your life, stop agonizing, and use your gut to tell you what direction to go in, and just do something.

If the time is right to make your decision, and you have enough information to do it, then follow this process:

1) Shift your mindset about decisions and next steps

First, disengage yourself from needing to believe that there is an ultimate "right" outcome to anything.  There isn't.  Life is a cycle, a process, a flow, not a final destination.  You'll never "get there."  It's all about experiencing life fully, NOW, and loving it.  Forget about outcome, and look at "process" - explore what you think this step will bring to you, along with the process of living that this step will allow you to engage in.  In other words, will this next step encourage you to grow, stretch, be excited, enlivened, and expand yourself?  If so, there's a great deal of benefit in it.

2) How does it make you feel to consider it?

In my marriage and family therapy training, one professor said that "feeling" is the "F" word - because a therapist and client talking just about feelings can be a slippery slope of not leading to any interventions that truly help a person move forward.

In this case, however, gaining awareness of how you feel is vitally important.  Watch yourself as you explore this next step or potential decision.  Do you feel energized, excited, with your heart beating?  Or do you feel like taking a nap, exhausted, depressed and hopeless.  How you feel, and the shifts in your energy level when you're evaluating a potential decision are highly indicative of what your heart and soul really want to do.

3) Look at what holds you back - is it all fear-based?

Write out all the pros and cons to the decision you're facing.  Then look at the cons...are they all fear-based ("what if", anxiety-ridden thinking)?  If so, you're most likely getting stuck in your limited beliefs and ego-based thinking that tell you that you simply can't embrace this challenge or step because you'll fail or the unknown is too scary.  The unknown doesn't have to be scary - if you embrace it as a way to be more of yourself.

4) What does your intuition/gut tell you to do?

Decisions are best made when you combine logical, linear thinking with intuitive-based wisdom that comes from a higher place.  Your logical thinking helps you identify all the pros and cons (see #3) from an intellectual perspective, but your intuition has a farther-reaching view, one that sees a bigger picture of who and where you truly want to go, and what you're capable of. 

Get in closer touch with your internal guiding wisdom and intuition.  Start today by developing a deeper inner dialog.  Ask questions of yourself on a continual basis, and listen for the answers, then follow them!.  Begin by asking simple "yes" or "no" questions (should I take this route or that one to get to my destination, should I stop here or wait a bit, etc.), and begin hearing what your intuition tells you.  Find the place in your body where your feel your intuition most (your gut, throat, back of your neck, heart, etc.) and begin incorporating the messages of your intuition in every decision you make.

*  *  *  *  *

Ultimately, each decision you make is the right one, because you made it, and you did your best at the time, and because it inevitably led to something that was important for you to experience.  Going forward, make your decisions with fuller awareness, choice, and a belief that everything you experience will ultimately lead to something greater in yourself.  Then, every decision will feel like (and be) the right one. 

If you have a decision to make today: get the info you need, don't make assumptions about what you're capable of, do your best, stop worrying, and start living.

Question of the week: What decisions have you made that at first seemed to be a mistake, but later opened up great new possibilities for you?

Here's a quick rundown on five tactics for gaining more strength and power in your life and work, beginning today:

1)       Do the inner work you have to do - I've had more than a few folks tell me lately that they really don't want to do the deep re-evaluation and exploration work necessary to create more success and fulfillment.  In essence, they want it done for them or given to them.  My view - that just ain't gonna happen (and why would you want it to)?    

Tip: Do the inner and outer work necessary to 1) figure out what you really want, 2) figure out the best way to get it, 3) figure out what you need to shift and change to get it, and 4) determine what you'll give up to have it.  Then go get it.

2)       Learn from others - In many of my seminars and talks to women, there are always one or two individuals who come up to me afterwards and share with me that they didn't want to hear the views or experiences of others - they just wanted to focus on their own issues/problems.  But being teachable and understanding that we're all alike in vital ways and can learn from others, is an essential ingredient to power and success.  Let connection feed you, not drain you.

            Tip: Let go of your inner narcissist.  Stop focusing exclusively on yourself.  Start connecting - listening to and learning from others.  There's a wealth of wisdom, knowledge and perspective out there for you to benefit from.

3)       Stop thinking "making great money means soul-sucking misery" -  If I hear one more time, "Yeah, Kathy, this career fulfillment stuff is nice, but I've got to pay the mortgage," I'm going to spit.  Of course we have to pay our bills and stay afloat, but when are folks going to realize that paying your bills DOESNT inherently, inevitably mean sacrificing your soul to do it, and being miserable.  We think it does because we've mistakenly told ourselves that lie our entire lives - that making great money = soul-crushing work.  Making the money you truly need doesn't mean you have to get sick, depressed, lose yourself, hate yourself, and sacrifice everything that means anything to you, just so you can pay your mortgage. 

      Tip: Figure out the new path you desperately long to take, and begin step-by-step to create it, with money-making and meeting your needs as a key goal.  No more excuses.

4)       When you don't know what you want to do, first focus on "essence," then on "form" - When you're really stuck as to what you want to do next, focus on figuring out the "essence" of what you want first in your life and work, and worry about the right "form" of it only as a second step.  An example: let's say you adore singing and always have, and you hate your corporate job.  You might be thinking, "All I want to do is quit this job, and start singing for a living. I think I'd love that!"  To that, I'd say, "Wait a minute!"  Making a living as a singer (for instance) can be excruciatingly difficult.  Most performers say, "Do this only if you can't NOT do it!"  So before you jump into what new job/career that you've been fantasizing about, figure out if it's something you truly can't live without doing and if you're suited to a life of it. 

      What are the inner qualities, traits (the essence) of the thing you long for - what do you think this thing will give your life that you don't have now?  Ask yourself, "What does singing give to me?"  Your answers might be that singing brings you: entertainment, the joy of creating something beautiful, the reward of making music with others, creativity, harmony, fun, stimulation, physical exertion that's also relaxing, surrounding yourself with beautiful sounds, etc.  

      After you know specifically what singing (or the thing you're fantasizing about) gives you, then see if you can bring forward any parts of that "essence" into your current life/career.  If not, then start evaluating and researching what that might mean for you in terms of changing your job/career to embrace more of the essence of what you long for.

            Tip: Explore what lights you up, what gives you passion, and why.  They determine if there are any ways you can bring those endeavors forward in your life today, without a wholesale reinvention, if possible.

5)       Get Tough - Power Up Your Boundaries - To get what you want in life, you have to be strong and confident.  You have to protect yourself from all those who would suck your energy dry, use you, take advantage of you, make you feel guilty for not doing more than you should for others, and diminish you.  You can't have a powerful life if you're giving over all your power to others (including your children, spouse, boss, employer, friends, relatives, etc.).

            Tip: Think about where you feel exhausted, angry, depressed, resentful, and start there.  To whom do you need to say "no" and why aren't you saying it?  It's time to say more "No!" to others, and more "Yes!" to yourself, and time to speak up.  Just do it.

Question for the day: In what ways do you struggle in terms of feeling powerful and confident?  And what have you done to successfully increase your power in areas where it's shaky?

Thanks for sharing, and many happy breakthroughs,

Kathy

I've spent years developing a spiritual life that is both deeply meaningful and practically useful to me in my life and work.  This was no easy feat for me.  I had to cast off all the religious doctrine and dogma that was thrust on me as a child.  All of it left me feeling that organized religion espouses concepts that are, in many cases, antithetical to a true understanding of divinity and spirituality.  Organized religion is often so way off-base -  pushing us toward negative and personally diminishing beliefs that are in total opposition to what (I believe) God or Love truly represent.

In my quest for a spiritual life that works for my day-to-day life too, I found myself taking a very large and long detour, falling into the trap of believing that positive, spiritual thinking and a shift in energetic "vibration" would get me out of my troubles.  So here's what I've learned.  If you want real life change, start with positive thinking but proceed with action.

The Law of Attraction means "like attracts like" - your positive (or negative) energy and thoughts will attract more of same.  But understanding that is not enough to turn your life around.  Trust me on this one.

If this resonates, I hope you'll read on.  Here are several excerpts from my book Breakdown, Breakthrough (from Chapters 14 and 15) on what it takes to develop a rich, purposeful and authentic spiritual life that works for you:

(From Breakdown Breakthrough, Chapter 15 - Doing Work and Play You Love)

Relax, It's Not All Up to You

Many of us were raised with the American ethic of personal achievement and the need to conquer. We were given the notion that it's up to each of us, individually and solely, to hack out the life we want, sometimes crushing others (and ourselves) to get it. After many years of struggle and despair, Laura discovered that her life wasn't all up to her.

She found more powerful help--her belief in a higher power, a universal energy that connects her with herself and the world around her. This energy elevates her above her individual capabilities and knowledge. Laura accessed her higher power by going inward, listening quietly and patiently to hear her soul speaking.

Others find their higher power through religion, spirituality, healing, energy work, meditation, praying, or serving others. I've found my connection to a higher power by casting off all of the rigid doctrine I was taught that felt false. I reconstructed a working concept of spirituality that feels right.

I believe in an all-loving universal energy that flows through and connects of us. Some call it God, others call it Love. Whatever you call it, if you connect with your higher power in a way that resonates for you, life changes. When you hear the sound of your own soul whispering to you, you'll know it in a second. There will be no doubt. You will be changed by the love, tolerance, lightness, optimism, and surety that you hear there, inside of you.

It doesn't matter whether you choose to meditate during your train commute, take walks, garden, do yoga, sit on the beach, rest in a sanctuary, or write to your angels. What's critical is that you find a way to quiet your mind, soothe your body, and tap into your vast inner knowledge and power, daily. But accessing it isn't enough. Once you hear your inner wisdom, follow it, and act boldly.

(From Breakdown, Breakthrough, Chapter 14 - Balancing Life and Work)

Get Help from Others and Your Higher Self

Coaching and energy healing helped Karen get in touch with her spiritual side in a life changing way. She found help from her coach and healer, as well as from her spiritual voice and practices. These aids grounded her in a new reality of calm, balance, and acceptance.

Many women find strength and solace by getting in closer touch with their spiritual being. There are many helpful ways to find your spiritual self. Spiritual beliefs and practices that connect you more fully to yourself, enhance your self-respect and compassion for others, help you feel your own power and divinity, and appreciate the vastness of human experience are highly beneficial.

But many of us were taught religious beliefs that hold us back and simply don't ring true. I know I was. And I threw the baby out with the bathwater. If this statement strikes a chord, I encourage you to seek out new spiritual beliefs and practices that feel right to you. Keep the baby! Find a way to connect to your spiritual side, and to something more expansive than your individual self. Doing so brings great perspective and peace of mind.

When I began to search for spiritual concepts that would bolster rather than frustrate me, I found a fascinating book, Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch. I devoured it in one night. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was home. I finally read in print spiritual ideas that feel right, beautiful, loving, and true. I was overjoyed.
 
Since then, I have continued to build spiritual beliefs that support and nourish me. Connecting to your spiritual side, hearing your inner voice, and living from the knowledge you receive will get you closer to your values and priorities, soothe you, and set you in a positive direction with courage and power.

*  *  *  *  *

Now here's the rub - concepts such as The Law of Attraction as described in The Secret, or even those from my beloved Abraham-Hicks group (who've written many powerful books such as Ask and It is Given), can be totally misconstrued, and when they are, these concepts -- and living by them as your exclusive guiding force -- can be very damaging to your life.

Why? Because you can be lulled into inaction and a false sense of security by believing that just changing your thinking or making key vibrational adjustments is enough to generate the results you want and need to see your life.

I'm here to tell you - it's simply not true.  The Law of Attraction isn't going to bring you want you want, unless you take empowered action - focused, commitment, growth-inducing ACTION.  Sitting on your couch eating bonbons while engaged in positive thinking (or continuing to do what isn't working and expecting different results) is a recipe for disaster.

If "The Secret" isn't working for you - if you're still struggling, stuck, desperate, confused, overwhelmed, the answer isn't for you to keep doing what you've been done.  Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.  Yes!  The answer out of your problems is to get help, shed what is keeping you stuck, and then take action - different and more empowered and focused action than you've ever taken before.

Positive thinking, the law of attraction, and the Secret - it's a start, to get you believing in yourself, in your future visions and what you dream for life and work.  But if you want external positive results in your life, it's time to step up and reclaim your life with action.

Question of the week: What one action can and will you take this week to step up to the life that's waiting for you?  Please share!

In the past several years, I've coached a good number of other coaches, consultants, healing and wellness practitioners, and small business owners ways to build their community, develop a powerful speaking platform, get their books published and read, and launch successful programs.

I believe that as coaches, private practitioners, and small business owners, many of us were not fully equipped or prepared when we launched our businesses to do what it takes to build them profitably and successfully; instead, we had a "build it and they will come" mentality that didn't generate results because it wasn't aligned with powerful business-building strategies.

One key step that helps you build your community, attract great customers, and expand your marketing reach is to develop and deliver impactful seminars and workshops in your professional niche that educate and enliven your community, customers, and clients.

If you're interested in developing seminars and workshops that really work - and sell - below are six key steps to launching them successfully.  These are essential actions that I've learned -- the hard way -- through my own years of development as a national women's work-life expert and speaker:

1)       Identify the specific area(s) to focus on in creating your seminars

2)       Determine which programs you truly want to offer, versus those you think you "should"

3)      Build your community and audience through partnership, affiliation, and relationship

4)      Price your seminars so that you achieve a targeted audience and make money (and when to offer programs free)

5)      Title your seminars so they stand out and grab the customer

6)      Brand yourself and your business so that you are differentiated from the competition, and able to name and claim your "sweet spot" 

The key is to understand what truly holds you back from delivering successful programs and services, and move forward to overcoming these obstacles.

Entrepreneurs need straight talk and practical help to build your businesses successfully.  The Make Mine a Million Dollar Business programs and community give you just that - real, hands-on support to develop, and implement, effective strategies that work for you and your company.  Thanks M3! 

To support the cause, I'm launching a new teleseminar program created specifically for coaches, consultants, small business owners and private practitioners, called Developing Powerful Seminars that Work - and Sell.  Hope you'll check it out.

Don't wait until it's too late to get the help and support you need.  Reach out today - to M3, a powerful business mentor or consultant, a business-building community or entrepreneurial network of your choice.  It's just an email, phone call or meeting away.  It's in your "vortex" to be wildly successful (as Abraham-Hicks says), and it's up to you to claim it!

Wishing you many happy breakthroughs,
Kathy

Many clients have asked me how to keep moving forward in their lives when what's appearing in their lives is crushingly challenging.  The tips below will help you stay focused and energized, and keep you on your way to your future life visions, despite the bumps that emerge in the present situation.

Don't Let What Appears in the Present Fool You

We often forget that what's appearing in our lives today will not last.  One thing is certain in life -change is a constant.  What's occurring in your life and work now is a confluence of many factors (your beliefs and patterns of behaving, the lessons our world and humanity need to learn, etc.).  But your future will look very different if you embrace that possibility.  For instance, if you're struggling with money now, this doesn't necessarily mean you are doomed to battle with money your entire lifetime. 

Begin now to see what's happening today as information - evidence of what is working well, and what is not.  Use this information to guide you to make some vital changes in your thinking and actions so that what you dream of can indeed become your reality.

For me, these times have led me to learn the hard way what it means to be a better marketer and communicator of my company's services, and to be a creator of new, useful programs that are relevant to women in these changing times.  I've always found it distasteful to "hawk my wares."  But there's a vast difference between "hawking" and getting the word out widely so others know what you offer and do.  I'm getting "hip to my trip" about being shy regarding promoting my services.   I know now that I've got to get over it if I want to continue to help people in a big way.

What habit do you need to let go of today that's holding you back?

Appreciate What You Have While Being Excited for What is Coming

When we're facing hardship or struggle, it's very difficult to achieve a state of appreciation.  But appreciating where you are is essential to bringing into your life more positive events and circumstances. 

Appreciating where you are means you understand that in some critical ways you've signed up for these challenges -- co-created them, one could say - for your own expansion.  Not on a conscious level, but on a higher dimension.  Embrace what your life is giving you as a way to grow into what you want more of.

Raging against where you are in life is like rolling a ball uphill over and over, and being angry that it keeps rolling back down over you.  Either change how you roll the ball, or stop feeling resentful at what is (or better yet, do both)!

Take time each day to appreciate the good that you've created in your life thus far.  More of it will surely come.

Don't Listen to the Naysayers

When you're feeling down about your tough times, you sometimes encounter negative people who think they know better and more than you.  These naysayers often say,"I told you so!" or "I knew that would fail," or "What were you thinking?"

My best advice is to turn a deaf ear to the naysayers, and focus instead on those who are compassionate, encouraging, and uplifting to you.  Seek out those who believe in you 3000%, who trust in your capabilities without reservation. 

Sure, we sometimes need to hear difficult counsel, but make sure the advice you heed is from an empowering, positive, knowing source.  Ignore advice that feels wrong, diminishing, or negative, or is based on someone else's limitations or agenda.

Surround yourself instead with those who want you to be all you can be in your life and work.

Ask for Help

Finally, in tough times, we need to ask for help.  Let go of your need to be perfect, right, or invincible.  Ask for assistance and support to get you through. 

An encouraging friend, mentor, family member, or coach can be of great help when times are hard.  He/she can help you see beyond what you're experiencing, make sense of it in terms that are meaningful to you, and connect you to the realization that you're not alone.

I've found too that the best kind of support comes from your "higher" self - the dimension of you that experiences life from a broader perspective than your ego-mind is capable of.  You can access insight from your higher self by forging a relationship with it, connecting with your inner guidance and knowledge by asking yourself questions each day, and listening to the answers.

Trust yourself, and act on your own intuition and inner guidance.  You won't steer yourself wrong.  Check it out for yourself.

(For a bit of help overcoming one of the 12 common crises women face today, please check out my book Breakdown, Breakthrough).

 *     *     *     *     *

Tough times are rampant right now in our world.  The question to ask is, "How may I use this trying situation to inform, uplift, and expand me as I continue on the path that compels me?"

Remember:

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence
by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."

Eleanor Roosevelt
You Learn by Living, 1960

So many folks come for coaching feeling like an abject failure - explaining how they've utterly botched something essential to them (a job, new business endeavor, a relationship, project, or performance, etc.).  The only emotions they can experience around their "failure" are shame, embarrassment, and regret.

I've lived this too - experiencing myself as a complete "failure" - having followed my intuition (or so I thought!), living from true hopes and intentions, only to watch them wither and fade, not coming to fruition at all as planned. 

As a keen observer of human behavior and human outcomes, I've witnessed (first with neutrality, then with great joy) my clients, colleagues, friends and family move from "failure" to growth.  They've learned, as I have, that these "failures" we think we experienced are nothing of the kind.   

If not failure, what are these experiences?

Experiences we see as "failure" are just potent flashes of insight and wisdom revealing themselves, showing you that your ego is in the driver's seat.  These moments are showing that what you've attached so strongly to through your ego is not necessarily what will bring you great joy and fulfillment.  These "failures" are beautiful, light-filled moments that carry with them true insights into your life purpose, and reveal what you really want to be doing on this planet at this time, and how you want to be doing it. But the only way to gain the insight necessary is to let go of what your ego has told you is essential in this endeavor - you must get out of the box you've caged yourself in, and move beyond it.

Here's an example - a very personal one.  When I wrote my book Breakdown Breakthrough (www.breakdownbreakthrough.com), the entire experience came from the heart and soul.  I wanted nothing more than to be a beacon of light for women struggling to live and work joyfully.  While it was challenging to conduct the national research and spend the year writing the book, it was always heart-felt. 

Unfortunately, something shifted in me once the book was released.  I became very ego-driven, and attached my ego very strongly to it, suddenly striving for attention, validation, and for financial reward for my labors.  The whole thing shifted into an ego place.  I could tell something very off and wrong had happened, but I didn't know what.

Now I do know - I lost my way in those months right after the book came out - I fell off my purpose - which is to be a catalyst for transformation.  Wanting my ego stroked and validated at every turn is in opposition to being a beacon of hope and light for people.  In fact, how can I be a true catalyst for change if I'm stuck wanting validation, am afraid to climb out of my own box?

The truth is our dreams don't always come true as we've articulated them.  Why? Because our narrow vision at the time only sees a limited picture of who we are.  Our birds-eye view, on the other hand - the view from our soul's perspective - is much more expansive and potential-filled.

Task for the week:  Think about where you are feeling like a "failure" today.  Is it a past job, a business endeavor, or a relationship that went terribly wrong? Explore the situation and experience fully.  Can you find the nugget of insight, wisdom, of relief in the experience?  Will you try to reframe it to a more positive interpretation, one that fits the facts equally well but allows you to forgive yourself, and see yourself full of potential and grace? 

Life is all in the way you view it, so shift yourself away from "failure" toward growth and possibility - you will see things change in front of your eyes when you do,

I recently penned a cover article called "Women in Today's Workforce Have Unique Opportunities: A New Call to Action for Women - And Employers" (see page 20-24) for CA Employer, the monthly newsletter of Employers Group (www.employersgroup.com). 

The article shares critical information about the 12 common crises working women face today, as well as 8 recommended approaches for employers to take that will help women not only survive the current challenges they face, but ultimately thrive in their professional roles.  These recommendations are based on six years of research with professional women, as well as coaching and seminar work with thousands.

I'd love to hear your views about this article, and my recommendations.  Do your personal experiences as a working woman match the crises and challenges I describe?  And do you believe that the initiatives recommended would go the distance in helping you as a working woman overcome your challenges effectively?  If not, what would you suggest employers do - specifically and tactically - to support women in overcoming the obstacles they face.

Please share your experiences, insights and viewpoints.  Add your voice to the discussion, and your recommendations to the research.  Diversity of thinking is so vital today, and a real, authentic, and contemporary dialogue about what career women are facing is needed.

This past Monday, I co-facilitated a stimulating seminar in Greenwich, CT with a colleague of mine and a great financial advisor, on Keys to Successful Career Transition: Personal and Financial Steps to Take in Times of Change, and something very powerful occurred. 

The group of women who attended - 8 in total - not only found a unique forum in which to openly share and explore their situations, but several of them were moved immediately afterwards to make dramatic changes in their lives, to take steps they'd dream of for months (even years), and also offer help to the other women who had attended.

I see this phenomenon frequently - women may feel completely stuck and alone ("broken down" as I call it) in their problems, but when they make the commitment to take a small step to help themselves - for instance, to attend a seminar or become "teachable" about what they could do to create movement in their lives - everything shifts.

Further, many women who choose to embark on the work necessary to create breakthrough in their own lives find themselves compelled to help others do the same.  Coming together in groups - whether it's for support, networking, or learning - unleashes beautiful longings, dreams, and visions in women.  Community, authentic sharing and being open to learning are the keys to growth.

If you're longing for breakthrough in your life, take a step today.  Find a group to participate in - a networking group, a class, a seminar, whatever appeals -- and bring your open heart and your beginner's mind to the experience.  A positive and powerful shift for you will occur there, if you embrace the possibility.

If you've dabbled with the idea of creating your own community group, I hope you'll consider it seriously then take action.  If you long to do it, you're meant to do it.  Please feel free to download my free Breakthrough Group Study Guide (based on my book Breakdown, Breakthrough), which will get you on your way to forming and facilitating a powerful community of like-minded women whom you can learn from, and support, to make the career and life changes you dream of.  And feel free to write me at Kathy@elliacommunications.com if the inner coach in you dreams of moving forward, and you need a bit of help to start.

Please take the step now - find or build your own community of women who are ready to create breakthrough today.

Many clients have asked about how to keep moving forward in their lives when what's appearing in life is crushingly challenging.

I know how this feels, and have experienced it countless times.  The tips below will help you stay focused and energized, and keep you on your way to your future life visions, despite the bumps and pitfalls that emerge in the present situation.

Don't Let What Appears in the Present Fool You

We often forget that what's appearing in our lives today will not last.  One thing is certain in life -change is a constant.  What's occurring in your life and work now is a confluence of many factors (your beliefs and patterns of behaving, the lessons our world and humanity need to learn, etc.).  But your future will look very different if you embrace that possibility.  For instance, if you're struggling terribly with money now, this doesn't necessarily mean you are doomed to battle with money your entire lifetime. 

Begin now to see what's happening today as information - evidence of what is working well, and what is not.  Use this information to guide you to make some vital changes in your thinking and actions so that what you dream of can indeed become your reality.

For me, these times have led me to learn the hard way what it means to be a better communicator, marketer, and promoter of my own services, and to be a creator of useful products that are more relevant to the changing times.  I've always found it distasteful to "hawk my wares."  But there's a vast difference between "hawking" and getting the word out widely so others know what you offer and do.  I'm getting "hip to my trip" about being shy regarding promoting my services.  I know now that I've got to get over it if I want to continue to help people in a big way.

What habit do you need to let go of today that's holding you back?

Appreciate What You Have While Being Excited for What is Coming

When we're facing hardship or struggle, it's very difficult to achieve a state of appreciation.  But appreciating where you are is essential to bringing into your life more positive events and circumstances. 

Appreciating where you are means you understand that in some critical ways you've signed up for these challenges -- co-created them, one could say - for your own expansion.  Not on a conscious level, but on a higher dimension.  Embrace what your life is giving you as a way to grow into what you want more of.

Raging against where you are in life is like rolling a ball uphill over and over, and being angry that it keeps rolling back down at you.  Either change how and where you roll the ball, or stop feeling resentful at what is (or better yet, do both)!

Take time each day to appreciate the good that you've created in your life thus far.  More of it will surely come.

Don't Listen to the Naysayers

When you're feeling down about your tough times, you sometimes experience negative people who think they know best and more than you.  These naysayers often say,"I told you so!" or "I knew that would fail," or "What were you thinking?"

My best advice is to turn a deaf ear to the naysayers, and focus instead on those who are compassionate, encouraging, and uplifting to you.  Seek out those who believe in you 3000%, who trust in your capabilities without reservation. 

Sure, we sometimes need to hear difficult counsel, but make sure the advice you heed is from an empowering, positive, knowing source.  Ignore advice that feels wrong, diminishing, or negative, or is based on someone else's limitations or agenda.

Surround yourself instead with those who want you to be all you can be in life and work.

Ask for Help

Finally, in tough times, we need to ask for help.  Let go of your need to be perfect, right, or invincible.  Ask for assistance and support to get you through. 

An encouraging friend, mentor, family member, or coach can be of great help when times are hard.  He/she can help you see beyond what you're experiencing, make sense of it in terms that are meaningful to you, and connect you to the realization that you're not alone.

I've found too that the best kind of support comes from your "higher" self - the dimension of you that experiences life from a broader perspective than your ego-mind is capable of.  You can access insight from your higher self by forging a relationship with it, connecting with your higher insight and knowledge by asking yourself questions each day, and listening for the answers.

When you get these answers, trust them, and act on them.  Your higher self won't steer you wrong.  Check it out for yourself.

 *     *     *     *     *

Tough times are rampant right now in our world.  The question to ask is, "How may I use this trying situation to inform, uplift, and expand me as I continue on the path that compels me?"

Remember:

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence
by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."

Eleanor Roosevelt
You Learn by Living, 1960

In the past several months, I've worked with a great number of clients who have found themselves at what seems to be a complete dead-end professionally.  Avenues they were fully passionate about pursuing (and would have allowed for successful employment only a year ago) have dried up, with precious few opportunities remaining, for the time being.  As we know, the world has changed.

For example, one of my clients reinvented herself completely over the past several years, from market research director to science teacher, only to find there are simply no jobs available in her geographic region.  Another client is crystal clear that she wants to write as a profession, but feels that starting up now as a freelance writer, given the implosion of the publishing world as we know it, would be a recipe for disaster.

What should we do when the path we desperately long to pursue is blockaded?  I say we turn a corner, take a fork in the road, and re-direct -- ultimately find a revised path that allows you to succeed in these times, while honoring your authentic values.  There isn't only one job in the world that will make you happy, or one career path (I feel this is true about choosing a mate as well - there isn't just one person with whom you could build a happy, fulfilled life.)

So often, we become overly-attached to what we think will make us happy or get us out of our misery, and we miss the (rescue) boat completely.  What's that story, about the man who finds himself in a flood, with water covering his home?  I think it goes something like this...

As the flood occurred, the man said to himself, "I know God will save me.  I won't worry."  But as the water rose, things become dire.  First, someone offers the man a hand to take him to higher ground, but the man says, "No thanks, I'm waiting for God to save me."  As the water flooded his home, a group in a rowboat came by, and shouted, "Come on, come in the boat with us and be saved!"  The man said, "No thank you, I'm waiting for God to save me." A day later, as the man clung to the roof of his house, a helicopter came to save him.  He yelled to the pilot, "No thank you, I'm waiting for God to save me."  The man drowned. 

When he saw God in heaven, he said, "Why didn't you save me??" God replied, "I sent three forms of rescue...it was up to you to take them."

So the question is...what forms of rescue can you find that will keep your heart and soul intact while also keeping you afloat, financially, emotionally, and spiritually?  Open your heart and mind to new avenues, and they will become apparent.

What rescue options have you pursued lately, and how have they worked out?