Yesterday, I gave a wardrobe and book signing event at Chico's in Danbury, CT, and some interesting findings emerged. First, it's clear that even a random selection of midlife women reflects a high percentage of "breakdown mode." Shoppers talked with me about their jobs, their midlife journeys, and new perspectives about what they truly want, now that they've achieved what they had originally hoped for years ago. Looking out through a pair of 45-year-old eyes can reveal a very different view.
The second notable finding was that a number of people were shopping to calm their feelings of breakdown. It's an escape. As one lovely woman shared, "Ya know, some of us are trying to forget our troubles through shopping, so you might not find people wanting to talk about their crises here!"
As a therapist, I've worked with clients whose shopping addiction was as destructive as a serious drug addiction. Retail therapy might work for the moment, but it certainly has its tradeoffs. I recall years ago using shopping to feel better, when I was in my most toxic job. It worked for the moment, but then feelings of extreme guilt kicked in, which only exacerbated the root problem...feeling alienated and unhappy at my workplace. I know now it's much healthier to leave a job you hate, than shop till you drop!
Have you ever used shopping to soothe your feelings? How well did it work for you?
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