Recently in Inspiration for Success Category

I follow slews of fascinating people through their blogs and Tweets, and today I read a compelling blog post written by Scott Stratten who runs his company, Unmarketing. I simply love what this guy has to say!  I find his ideas and posts so interesting, authentic, funny, insightful and just plain old great.

Here's his latest blog about What If I Didn't Use Twitter:

http://www.un-marketing.com/blog/2010/02/22/what-if-i-didnt-use-twitter

I was moved to write a comment on his post, which is here:

Scott - I love your description of what you've learned and received from Twitter.  My guess is that you're the kind of person who gets enormous benefits out of anything you dive into.  But that being said, there's something about the Twitter experience that helps you stretch into wild new territories that you've been deeply longing for, but didn't even know it!  It's so damn powerful - to connect with thousands of people, to use your voice in new ways, to put your one-of-a-kind ideas out there, to develop a tough-enough skin so that you can shrug off the occasional snarkiness of others, and to feel the love and support of one-time strangers who become dear friends.  Love your work, Scott!

When people ask me "Do I really need to use Twitter," I have so much to say about it that I don't know where to begin.  So I'll begin here...

Who Gets the Most Out of Twitter? 

People who:

1) Have something of interest to say

2) Don't care to just blather on about the everyday minutiae of their lives (most people's lives are boring - let's face it!)

3) Enjoy giving as much or more as they do receiving

4) Have a generous, kind spirit and can support others' thinking and work

5) Understand that using Twitter effectively is about building relationships and is not a "get rich quick" scam

6) Get the fact that what you put into something directly correlates with what you get out of it

7) Don't use it as a way of talking about how great they are, and how they can make you rich

8 ) Do use it as a way to become better, bigger, smarter, funnier, more helpful  - more of who you really are at your core

So, if you're wondering what you can get out of using Twitter, I'd say this:

With an attitude of openness, curiosity, commitment, and generosity, you can get:

-          New friends

-          New ideas for books, writing, projects, seminars, talks, etc.

-          New interests and passions

-          New customers and supporters

-          New ways to see yourself and your life and work

-          New coping skills for when strangers write you and say your ideas stink

-          New like-minded colleagues to partner with

-          New directions to pursue that light you up

-          New ways to make money

-          New, helpful insights about yourself - what you're great at and what you're not so great at

It occurred to me that what Twitter has brought to us might have some parallels to when television first emerged on the scene -  it opens up a fascinating new avenue through which you can connect to a whole new world of ideas, feelings, perspectives, teachings, directions, along with passionate, inspiring people who have so much to share and give.  That is, if you're selective about what you choose to focus on.

So have at it, friends!  And as Scott Stratten says, I LIVE for comments, so please leave yours.

Happy National Speak Up and Succeed Day!  (Thanks, Diane DiResta, for reminding me!)

As I do the work I do each day - giving seminars to women's groups or connecting with new colleagues to partner with, working with my support team or communicating with my clients - I've begun to notice something quite interesting about how people work.

There are two fundamental ways in which people attempt to expand themselves in the world.

These two ways are:

Collaborating with others in a respectful and empowering way, to help each other be all you both wish to be

Or

Attempting to crush out the competition through snarky, denigrating, and low-spirited tactics

Which approach are you engaged in?

The first approach encourages you to:

• Feel good in your interactions
• Expand your skills and know-how
• Experience yourself as purposeful and beneficial in your interchanges
• Learn more about how to do what you love to do and how you are special
• Discover new skills and endeavors you're capable of
• Grow faster and more effectively through positive synergy

The second approach encourages you to:

• Feel lousy and critical about your interactions
• Constrict your thinking about what you're capable of
• Mistake yourself as someone who is higher and more important in the hierarchy
• Believe that there simply isn't enough to go around
• Remain stuck in the jealous, insecure "Am I good enough?" mode
• Move slower, with less success, ease, and fulfillment

In short, collaboration allows you to Say Yes! to yourself, to others and to expanding yourself to what you truly long to do.  Fearful competition keeps you stuck in the constricting, "NO" mode.

How can you tell cut-throat competition when you see it?

Here are some key hallmarks:

1) Language and action that indicates, "I'm smarter, better, richer, more successful than you."

2) Over-selling - making a point over and over again so that the receiver ends up saying "OK already!"

3) Deep insecurity about being challenged or receiving constructive feedback

4) A lack of receptivity, compassion, and openness to learning from and being with others

5) An energy of "take, take, take" without giving back

6) A haughty or superior energy/attitude that says, "I'm father along the path than you, and you'll have to learn the hard way, like I did."

Be mindful about whom you choose to associate with in the world and how you go about getting what you want.  The "how" of your approach is more impactful than specific tactics you use.  Overall, if your colleagues, partners, and friends are individuals who make you and others feel great about themselves in an authentic and enlivening way, then they're on the right track, and so are you.

On the other hand, if you, your associates or friends are stuck in the diminishing, competitive "there's not enough to go around, and I'm getting my piece!" mode, it's time for a breakthrough to a collaborative spirit.  Without it, the path you're headed down will most certainly take you where you don't want to go.

Happy New Year, Friends!  Hope your holidays were beautiful.

As we're on to a new year and decade, there have been skillions of articles and blogs published about how to create what you want in this new chapter of our lives.

I like to be a contrarian, and offer up ideas in opposition to the norm, to get us thinking.  Towards that end, here's one:

Let's NOT create New Year's Resolutions this year.

I'm not a fan of resolutions.  It seems that "resolutions" are somehow associated with failure...the things we say we are going to do, but in the end, don't achieve, because we lack the commitment, energy, drive, or wherewithal to complete them.
 
Let's not make resolutions this year.  Let's do something different.  Let's designate "areas of intensive focus" and watch what emerges as the year unfolds. 

Here's my plan:

I've written down four outcomes that are very important to me - areas or experiences that I have now but want more of in my life -- that I intend to focus on going forward. 

To me, focus is everything. If we can determine in some detail what we want to create, understand and validate why we want to create it, then look intently for new opportunities and possibilities around that particular goal or outcome, success happens (or at least we progress towards it in a much easier, fun, and fulfilling way than would otherwise occur). 

Wonderful occurrences and synchronicities that we simply couldn't expect or predict fall into our experience, as we focus intently on our desired outcomes.  New doors open, new friends and supporters make themselves known, new lessons learned, new paths revealed.  If we don't focus intently on what we want to create, we miss so many chances for moving forward on the path we long for.

Here's what my "intensive focus" areas for 2010 look like:

Focus Area #1:
What Do I Want More Of?
Creating high-demand national seminars, products, and training programs that give women the tools they long for to transform their challenges into breakthrough to a new level of great success. 

Why Do I Want It?
Because these programs will help teach women how to manage and shape their lives successfully on their own terms, and be great fun and reward for me to share and participate in this learning and teaching process. 

Focus Area #2:
What Do I Want More Of?
Attracting coaching and consulting clients whom I LOVE to work with and who love to work with me.

Why Do I Want It?
Because coaching groups and one-on-one with folks who resonate with me energetically and in their thinking and behavior, is great joy to me, and allows me to interact in deeply personal ways to help people make the changes they long for.

Focus Area #3:
What Do I Want More Of?
Learning as much as I can (then sharing back that wisdom) about what contributes to abundant success - personal, professional, financial, and spiritual - in the lives of women across all generations.
 
Why Do I Want It?
I love to research human behavior and thinking, then develop my own personalized "model for change."  Researching abundant success represents the next level for me - it will teach me lessons I'm yearning to learn, and also help others who've had an initial transformative breakthrough, but now want more.

Focus Area #4:
What Do I Want More Of?
To treasure and appreciate and receive deeply -- in every cell of my body -- all the bountiful blessings in my life now and those blessings that are forthcoming.  My blessing list is long, and includes my precious children, husband, health, parents, family, friends, work, creative endeavors, and the list goes on.

Why Do I Want It?
I'm not so hot at receiving.  It's an area I definitely want to grow in.  When I am in the place of full-on receiving, it feels absolutely fantastic physically and emotionally, and the effects are long-lasting and delicious.  I'm ready for more receiving! (Thanks to my new financial consultant and colleague, Denise Hughes, for facilitating that powerful revelation).

That's it for me.  Out with the resolutions, and in with some intensive focus on what I love in my life, and what I'd love to create more bountifully this year. 
 
So how about you?  Will you do the above exercise for your 2010?  What would you like to focus on creating this year, and why? 

Let's skip the resolutions, and replace them with a validation of your heartfelt longings, and your clear-sighted focus on what you're passionate about, and what you want more of this year.

This is YOUR year.

In launching my new national research study on Women Succeeding Abundantly: Why and How They Do It, one key question we're addressing is: What is abundant success to you?

Here's my personal working definition:

Abundant success means that you are:

• Confident and complete in who you are
• Fully aligned and authentic in all roles you play in life and work
• Deeply appreciated and valued
• Comfortable, confident and empowered in your relationship with money
• Earning exactly what you want to be earning
• Outwardly honoring your inner values and principals
• Living full-out, with passion, power, and purpose
• Making a positive difference in the lives of others
• Consciously stretching to your full potential
• Aware of why you're on the planet, and living that purpose
• Conscious of the fact that you have full responsibility, ownership, and accountability for your life, and feel good about that knowledge
• Having a great time living the abundant life you've created, on your terms

To me, if you can say these things about yourself, abundant success is yours!

Please share your unique definition of abundant success.  I'd love to hear.  What is it, and are you living it?  If not, why not?  And if you are living your version of abundant success, please write to me at Kathy@elliacommunications.com.  I'd love to interview you!

Thanks, and here's to your abundant success,

Kathy

My wonderful coaching clients ask me frequently, "How do I know if this is the right step?  I'm just so confused." 

To get clear on the next step to take that will be ultimately beneficial for you, answer these three questions first, then move on the path to making your decision.

There are three powerful questions to consider before you address any significant decision:

1) Do you have enough information to make this decision?  If not, get it.

2) Is it the right time to make this decision - if not, then wait.  If so, take the steps listed below.

3) How important is this decision?  If it's not at all important to your life, stop agonizing, and use your gut to tell you what direction to go in, and just do something.

If the time is right to make your decision, and you have enough information to do it, then follow this process:

1) Shift your mindset about decisions and next steps

First, disengage yourself from needing to believe that there is an ultimate "right" outcome to anything.  There isn't.  Life is a cycle, a process, a flow, not a final destination.  You'll never "get there."  It's all about experiencing life fully, NOW, and loving it.  Forget about outcome, and look at "process" - explore what you think this step will bring to you, along with the process of living that this step will allow you to engage in.  In other words, will this next step encourage you to grow, stretch, be excited, enlivened, and expand yourself?  If so, there's a great deal of benefit in it.

2) How does it make you feel to consider it?

In my marriage and family therapy training, one professor said that "feeling" is the "F" word - because a therapist and client talking just about feelings can be a slippery slope of not leading to any interventions that truly help a person move forward.

In this case, however, gaining awareness of how you feel is vitally important.  Watch yourself as you explore this next step or potential decision.  Do you feel energized, excited, with your heart beating?  Or do you feel like taking a nap, exhausted, depressed and hopeless.  How you feel, and the shifts in your energy level when you're evaluating a potential decision are highly indicative of what your heart and soul really want to do.

3) Look at what holds you back - is it all fear-based?

Write out all the pros and cons to the decision you're facing.  Then look at the cons...are they all fear-based ("what if", anxiety-ridden thinking)?  If so, you're most likely getting stuck in your limited beliefs and ego-based thinking that tell you that you simply can't embrace this challenge or step because you'll fail or the unknown is too scary.  The unknown doesn't have to be scary - if you embrace it as a way to be more of yourself.

4) What does your intuition/gut tell you to do?

Decisions are best made when you combine logical, linear thinking with intuitive-based wisdom that comes from a higher place.  Your logical thinking helps you identify all the pros and cons (see #3) from an intellectual perspective, but your intuition has a farther-reaching view, one that sees a bigger picture of who and where you truly want to go, and what you're capable of. 

Get in closer touch with your internal guiding wisdom and intuition.  Start today by developing a deeper inner dialog.  Ask questions of yourself on a continual basis, and listen for the answers, then follow them!.  Begin by asking simple "yes" or "no" questions (should I take this route or that one to get to my destination, should I stop here or wait a bit, etc.), and begin hearing what your intuition tells you.  Find the place in your body where your feel your intuition most (your gut, throat, back of your neck, heart, etc.) and begin incorporating the messages of your intuition in every decision you make.

*  *  *  *  *

Ultimately, each decision you make is the right one, because you made it, and you did your best at the time, and because it inevitably led to something that was important for you to experience.  Going forward, make your decisions with fuller awareness, choice, and a belief that everything you experience will ultimately lead to something greater in yourself.  Then, every decision will feel like (and be) the right one. 

If you have a decision to make today: get the info you need, don't make assumptions about what you're capable of, do your best, stop worrying, and start living.

Question of the week: What decisions have you made that at first seemed to be a mistake, but later opened up great new possibilities for you?

Running a coaching and consulting company dedicated to helping women achieve breakthrough in their lives and work, I meet thousands of folks each year who want to reinvent, many of whom are considering launching a coaching or consulting practice, or other small business of their own.  They long to transition into coaching for solid reasons, and many come with great, top-level experience. 

As a career consultant, I help people evaluate if launching a coaching practice or other venture seems a viable step for them first by conducting a thorough assessment of their goals, abilities, preferences, personality, values, mission, purpose, and long-term plans.  As my book publicist Patti Danos asked me when I was launching my book Breakdown, Breakthrough, I ask my clients, "What do you want, and what do you really want, in doing this?"

After such an assessment, I have often recommended in the past, "Looks like it makes sense at this time to move forward, and that you've got a strong grasp of what's required.  Go for it!" 

Now, however, in these intensely challenging times, I ask this new question, "Are you ready and able to do what it takes to make this successful? Are you 3000% committed?"

About becoming a coach, the average income of a life coach in the U.S. today is between $30,000 - $40,000.  Only 10% to 20% or so make six-figure incomes, and many more life coaches don't make anywhere near $30,000.  It's not an easy path, and clients simply will not fall in your lap.  Success requires time, action, commitment, and a good number of top level skills to differentiate yourself, and to generate a large enough community to continue to fill your pipeline of paying clients.

A coach from the largest coaching organization in the world told me last week that of all the folks that reach out to them to pursue coaching, only 40% are truly "coachable," and of those, only 30% end up signing up for services.  Those stats apply to my business as well.

I realized this week something that feels like a real "aha" to me - coaching is for a group or culture that is at the highest level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs - the level of self-actualization.  Today, however, our economic strife has pushed millions of people us down several levels of the hierarchy - to the level of "safety" -- so that their primary focus now is on financial safety and security. 

If you're interested in starting a practice/business as a life coach during these times, I'd ask you to seriously evaluate yourself, your abilities and talents, your passion for this, and your commitment to launching and maintaining a thriving practice/business.  These questions apply to you if you're considering any entrepreneurial, small business, or consulting endeavor as well:

Ask yourself the following questions:

·         What must I earn each year, to achieve the standard of living I need?  What have I earned before (and if I want to top that, what will I do differently)?

·         What's my risk tolerance?  Can I tolerate a lack of stability, fluidity, and security?

·         What is my relationship with money today?  How do I deal with it, earn it, save it, invest it and grow it?  Are my actions around money, and feelings, and views powerful and healthy?  Are you committed to making the living you want?

·         What is motivating me - consciously and subconsciously - to want to be a life coach?  Is there anything I'm running from that I need to address first?

·         If I do everything I can to make my practice work for three to five years, and $30,000 remains my income, will this be acceptable and viable for my life and family?  If not, what will be my plan to grow myself, my knowledge and skill set -- to be part of the minority segment of high-earners in the coaching field?

·         Do I have the abilities, courage, confidence, perseverance and commitment to undertake all the facets of running a thriving practice/business, including: client development, networking, social media, marketing, branding, speaking, workshops, writing, business and financial leadership, and providing top-notch client services - all in one?  If not, where will I get support, learn new skills, and how will I fund this growth?

·         Am I able to figure out what I don't know or what I'm not good at, and get help all along the way to fill in my knowledge, power, and business gaps?

·         Are you ready to give up a "build it and they will come" mentality, and step up to what it takes to run a successful business/practice?

·         Finally, what are you looking for - a job or a calling?

I ask you to address these questions not to discourage you from following your dreams, but to present a realistic picture of what's essential in running a successful business today.  If you conduct a deep exploration of your answers to these questions and come up ready to move forward to pursue life coaching as your career, fantastic!!  If not, then perhaps other avenues and outcomes of career reinvention are more suited to you, and will make you happier and more fulfilled.

If you do wish to move forward into life coaching, I'd say it's time for you to explore it further and embrace the possibility. 

Here are some first great steps:

1)       Research, research, research what it will take (start first with the International Coach Federation) and explore training programs, resources, and other coaches' businesses and models.  Find a successful life coach to hire who could serve as your mentor business coach.  My specific tip here: Use a business coach who has already achieved what you long to.  (For info on the difference between a "mentor" coach and an "implementation" coach, stayed tuned to my upcoming posts.)

2)       Get powerful with your money today - don't wait.  Gain a thorough grasp of your financial situation - what you need to earn, what you spend, what you can cut back on, how you will fund your reinvention, and so on.  Get a great financial consultant to help you sort out your situation, and set realistic, stretching goals.  Get out of denial, and get powerful with your finances.

3)       "Go where the energy is" - observe yourself in the process of exploring this path.  Does it feel exciting, energizing, enlivening, or daunting and discouraging?  For you to make a go of this, the predominant feeling needs to be excitement, possibility, and passion.

4)       Receive training and education  - nothing moves us forward faster than powerful training and education to help us be and know more than we do today.  Don't skip that step.  Coaching training and business skill development are absolutely vital to teach you how to be the best coach, and business owner, you can be.

5)       Develop a sound business plan with concrete marketing strategies.  Find a great non-profit organization (such as SCORE the Women's Business Development Center, or Count Me In) in your area, to help you create powerful business and marketing tactics, and a plan, to make your endeavor successful.

6)       Finally, take my four steps to breakthrough:

-          Step Back for an empowered outside perspective on where you are, and what you dream of doing

-          Let Go of the thinking, behaviors, and patterns that have been keeping you stuck and holding you back in the past

-          Say Yes! to your compelling visions.  If you really want to do this, then commit yourself 3000% to doing what it takes to be successful.

-          Create It!  Develop a solid plan, complete with goals, outcomes, and milestones against which to measure your progress.  If you don't plan it, you'll have a very tough time creating it, or generating the necessary energy you need to build it.

For added support, sign up for my newsletters and my blog on career and life breakthrough to give you some ongoing assistance and resources.

Life coaching is a fabulously exciting and rewarding field.  Here's to embracing your inner (and outer) coach, and being financially and emotional successful doing it!

A Fine Line Between Failure and Success

When we're facing what feel like insurmountable challenges in our work or life, it's vitally important to go back to basics - to purify, shift what isn't working, re-focus, and commit 3000% to what you care about achieving.

In running my own small business through extreme times of hardship and recession, and helping others get what they want in their careers, I've returned to basics myself, and reconnected with the three essential ingredients that lead to success.  They're powerful and they work.

Without these, you might find success but it'll be a far bumpier ride with some agonizing detours.

Here's what's needed to reinvent your life and career, and also to launch a new business endeavor successfully:

Intensive Focus

Someone recently asked me, "What are you - a coach, author, writer, blogger, speaker, workshop leader...what?!"  The question was meant to remind me of my need to focus intently on the area that I most want to grow - for me, that's my one-on-one coaching practice.  Sure, we can do several important things at once.  However, spreading ourselves too thin too often creates a dilution effect in our strength, time, and ability to build what we care about most.  Figure out what you want most, and focus intensively with passion and power on that for several months, and watch what happens.

Generating Something from Nothing

In intensely challenging times like these, all around us we see despair, confusion and a lack of hope and energy.  It's contagious.  We also see businesses drying up before our eyes.  It's scary indeed.  But success comes from being your own source of positive energy, from finding a way to internally generate your own authentic enthusiasm, energy, and excitement about what you do, even when outside forces are pushing against you.

My young son came home last night and told me that his teacher asked the students this year to "be the change you want to see" (Gandhi's beautiful request to the world).  There's such a keen nugget of truth in that for all of us - if we want success to come to us, we must first be success -- embody and live the principles of the success you long for -- and that will open the door to success.  Energy attracts like energy.

Undying Commitment

To be successful in life and work, it takes commitment that doesn't wane.  It takes believing that you can create movement in your life and business, even when the waters are still and the 3D world is giving you evidence that you're not going to make it to your destination.

But that doesn't mean we should continue blindly, crashing into the rocks without modifying our course.  It means that you know when you need help, and you ask for it before it's too late.  Commit yourself without doubt, without reservation, but do what's required and be flexible.  Realize that you have vulnerabilities and gaps in knowledge and ability, and work to fill them.  Believe in yourself, get the outside help you need as soon as you need it, and keep growing and learning. 

The fine line between success and failure is simply this - find a way to be success precisely when outside success is eluding you.

Question of the week: What do you do in times of turmoil to generate internal energy, enthusiasm, and light, just when the lights around you have gone out?

Wishing you many happy breakthroughs,

Kathy