April 2009 Archives

This past Monday, I co-facilitated a stimulating seminar in Greenwich, CT with a colleague of mine and a great financial advisor, on Keys to Successful Career Transition: Personal and Financial Steps to Take in Times of Change, and something very powerful occurred. 

The group of women who attended - 8 in total - not only found a unique forum in which to openly share and explore their situations, but several of them were moved immediately afterwards to make dramatic changes in their lives, to take steps they'd dream of for months (even years), and also offer help to the other women who had attended.

I see this phenomenon frequently - women may feel completely stuck and alone ("broken down" as I call it) in their problems, but when they make the commitment to take a small step to help themselves - for instance, to attend a seminar or become "teachable" about what they could do to create movement in their lives - everything shifts.

Further, many women who choose to embark on the work necessary to create breakthrough in their own lives find themselves compelled to help others do the same.  Coming together in groups - whether it's for support, networking, or learning - unleashes beautiful longings, dreams, and visions in women.  Community, authentic sharing and being open to learning are the keys to growth.

If you're longing for breakthrough in your life, take a step today.  Find a group to participate in - a networking group, a class, a seminar, whatever appeals -- and bring your open heart and your beginner's mind to the experience.  A positive and powerful shift for you will occur there, if you embrace the possibility.

If you've dabbled with the idea of creating your own community group, I hope you'll consider it seriously then take action.  If you long to do it, you're meant to do it.  Please feel free to download my free Breakthrough Group Study Guide (based on my book Breakdown, Breakthrough), which will get you on your way to forming and facilitating a powerful community of like-minded women whom you can learn from, and support, to make the career and life changes you dream of.  And feel free to write me at Kathy@elliacommunications.com if the inner coach in you dreams of moving forward, and you need a bit of help to start.

Please take the step now - find or build your own community of women who are ready to create breakthrough today.

Many clients have asked about how to keep moving forward in their lives when what's appearing in life is crushingly challenging.

I know how this feels, and have experienced it countless times.  The tips below will help you stay focused and energized, and keep you on your way to your future life visions, despite the bumps and pitfalls that emerge in the present situation.

Don't Let What Appears in the Present Fool You

We often forget that what's appearing in our lives today will not last.  One thing is certain in life -change is a constant.  What's occurring in your life and work now is a confluence of many factors (your beliefs and patterns of behaving, the lessons our world and humanity need to learn, etc.).  But your future will look very different if you embrace that possibility.  For instance, if you're struggling terribly with money now, this doesn't necessarily mean you are doomed to battle with money your entire lifetime. 

Begin now to see what's happening today as information - evidence of what is working well, and what is not.  Use this information to guide you to make some vital changes in your thinking and actions so that what you dream of can indeed become your reality.

For me, these times have led me to learn the hard way what it means to be a better communicator, marketer, and promoter of my own services, and to be a creator of useful products that are more relevant to the changing times.  I've always found it distasteful to "hawk my wares."  But there's a vast difference between "hawking" and getting the word out widely so others know what you offer and do.  I'm getting "hip to my trip" about being shy regarding promoting my services.  I know now that I've got to get over it if I want to continue to help people in a big way.

What habit do you need to let go of today that's holding you back?

Appreciate What You Have While Being Excited for What is Coming

When we're facing hardship or struggle, it's very difficult to achieve a state of appreciation.  But appreciating where you are is essential to bringing into your life more positive events and circumstances. 

Appreciating where you are means you understand that in some critical ways you've signed up for these challenges -- co-created them, one could say - for your own expansion.  Not on a conscious level, but on a higher dimension.  Embrace what your life is giving you as a way to grow into what you want more of.

Raging against where you are in life is like rolling a ball uphill over and over, and being angry that it keeps rolling back down at you.  Either change how and where you roll the ball, or stop feeling resentful at what is (or better yet, do both)!

Take time each day to appreciate the good that you've created in your life thus far.  More of it will surely come.

Don't Listen to the Naysayers

When you're feeling down about your tough times, you sometimes experience negative people who think they know best and more than you.  These naysayers often say,"I told you so!" or "I knew that would fail," or "What were you thinking?"

My best advice is to turn a deaf ear to the naysayers, and focus instead on those who are compassionate, encouraging, and uplifting to you.  Seek out those who believe in you 3000%, who trust in your capabilities without reservation. 

Sure, we sometimes need to hear difficult counsel, but make sure the advice you heed is from an empowering, positive, knowing source.  Ignore advice that feels wrong, diminishing, or negative, or is based on someone else's limitations or agenda.

Surround yourself instead with those who want you to be all you can be in life and work.

Ask for Help

Finally, in tough times, we need to ask for help.  Let go of your need to be perfect, right, or invincible.  Ask for assistance and support to get you through. 

An encouraging friend, mentor, family member, or coach can be of great help when times are hard.  He/she can help you see beyond what you're experiencing, make sense of it in terms that are meaningful to you, and connect you to the realization that you're not alone.

I've found too that the best kind of support comes from your "higher" self - the dimension of you that experiences life from a broader perspective than your ego-mind is capable of.  You can access insight from your higher self by forging a relationship with it, connecting with your higher insight and knowledge by asking yourself questions each day, and listening for the answers.

When you get these answers, trust them, and act on them.  Your higher self won't steer you wrong.  Check it out for yourself.

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Tough times are rampant right now in our world.  The question to ask is, "How may I use this trying situation to inform, uplift, and expand me as I continue on the path that compels me?"

Remember:

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence
by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."

Eleanor Roosevelt
You Learn by Living, 1960

In the past several months, I've worked with a great number of clients who have found themselves at what seems to be a complete dead-end professionally.  Avenues they were fully passionate about pursuing (and would have allowed for successful employment only a year ago) have dried up, with precious few opportunities remaining, for the time being.  As we know, the world has changed.

For example, one of my clients reinvented herself completely over the past several years, from market research director to science teacher, only to find there are simply no jobs available in her geographic region.  Another client is crystal clear that she wants to write as a profession, but feels that starting up now as a freelance writer, given the implosion of the publishing world as we know it, would be a recipe for disaster.

What should we do when the path we desperately long to pursue is blockaded?  I say we turn a corner, take a fork in the road, and re-direct -- ultimately find a revised path that allows you to succeed in these times, while honoring your authentic values.  There isn't only one job in the world that will make you happy, or one career path (I feel this is true about choosing a mate as well - there isn't just one person with whom you could build a happy, fulfilled life.)

So often, we become overly-attached to what we think will make us happy or get us out of our misery, and we miss the (rescue) boat completely.  What's that story, about the man who finds himself in a flood, with water covering his home?  I think it goes something like this...

As the flood occurred, the man said to himself, "I know God will save me.  I won't worry."  But as the water rose, things become dire.  First, someone offers the man a hand to take him to higher ground, but the man says, "No thanks, I'm waiting for God to save me."  As the water flooded his home, a group in a rowboat came by, and shouted, "Come on, come in the boat with us and be saved!"  The man said, "No thank you, I'm waiting for God to save me." A day later, as the man clung to the roof of his house, a helicopter came to save him.  He yelled to the pilot, "No thank you, I'm waiting for God to save me."  The man drowned. 

When he saw God in heaven, he said, "Why didn't you save me??" God replied, "I sent three forms of rescue...it was up to you to take them."

So the question is...what forms of rescue can you find that will keep your heart and soul intact while also keeping you afloat, financially, emotionally, and spiritually?  Open your heart and mind to new avenues, and they will become apparent.

What rescue options have you pursued lately, and how have they worked out?