December 2008 Archives

New Year's Resolution or Soulful Commitment?

By Kathy Caprino on December 31, 2008 3:31 PM | No Comments | No TrackBacks

Happy New Year's Eve!

 

I'm not a fan of the concept of New Year's resolutions.  It seems that these "resolutions" are somehow now associated with failure...the things we wanted to do in the new year but didn't quite manage to achieve.

 

Let's not make resolutions this year.  Let's make commitments, heart-and-soul intentions that we'll find a way to achieve, come hell or high water.  In the end, it's the process of dedicating ourselves to these dreams and goals that matters and changes our lives, so let's do it--together.

 

Here's one heart-and-soul commitment I'm dedicating myself to ...I'm letting go of worry, as best I can.  Worry has eaten away at me for years, and I'm tired of it.  I'm giving it up.  I'm starting today in the process of tuning myself like a tuning fork.  Each morning as I awaken, I'm tuning myself to the vibration of well-being, peace, and carefree calm.  It feels good to vibrate at this level...it makes me want more of it.

 

So out with the resolutions, and in with soulful commitments.  Mine is to internal peace and harmony, and letting my worries go.  What's yours?

 

Here's to happy breakthroughs and soulful intentions that change our lives.

 

Happy New Year to you and yours!

Kathy

 

 

When "Good Enough" is Perfect

By Kathy Caprino on December 24, 2008 11:03 AM | No Comments | No TrackBacks

Holiday Greetings!  I've been fascinated by the recent blog postings that are popping up all over discussing Breakdown, Breakthrough and its many messages.  I love this dialogue, and seeing how the book rings different chords for different individuals, depending on their views and experiences.

 

Recently there's been discussion about the concept of doing "good enough" where good enough is acceptable.  Some folks (men and women) truly resist this idea, and it feels wrong to them.  One female lawyer wrote, "I would hate to tell my client, I've given you good enough."  I certainly understand!

 

I believe that we Americans suffer from a resistance of the "good enough" approach more than other cultures do.  Yet it's an important concept for women today, because so many of us slave to be perfect, and it's killing us.

 

My thinking is that there are places and spaces in our lives today where we don't have to be perfect, don't have to strive for the complete best, for the A+.  But how can you learn to identify when "good enough" will be a satisfying approach?

 

One strategy is to evaluate what you value most highly, and put your strongest efforts there.  But in areas that are not as critical, moderate your efforts (time and energy output) to match the degree of value you place on them.

 

For instance, I remember when my daughter was small (6 years old), and I had volunteered to help out with goodies for her school holiday party.  I was working very late hours in my corporate job (due to an end-of-year crunch), and was also exhausted from Christmas and New Year preparations.  I wanted to home-bake beautiful baked goods for my daughter's party, but felt too exhausted and worn out to do it. 

 

Then I had an idea.  I thought about what I valued most in this entire situation, which was:

 

1.       Being with my daughter at her party, and enjoying it together

2.       Contributing something meaningful to her party experience

3.       Sharing with my daughter the joy of creating that meaningful something that she could be proud of

 

So, where could "good enough" fit in?  I thought of a solution, and asked my daughter her opinion, and she was great with it.  We decided to buy plain cupcakes (saving the time of preparing them), and we'd decorate them ourselves.

 

It worked.  Good enough was perfect.  She was proud of the cupcakes, we enjoyed the experience together, and it was a satisfying and joyful experience we shared.

 

We're not going to be satisfied with "good enough" in areas that mean the world to us.  The key is to find areas those spaces and places where "good enough" still makes you feel proud, energized, and happy.

 

Can you find spaces and places where "good enough" will work for you this holiday season (and after)?  Do you think "good enough" can ever feel ok?

 

Wishing you happy holidays that create satisfying and joyful memories.

 

 

A Job vs. a Calling

By Kathy Caprino on December 13, 2008 3:23 PM | No Comments | No TrackBacks

Greetings!  I recently read a very thought-provoking article by Michael Lewis, columnist for Bloomberg News, about the difference between a job and a "calling."  He had some very powerful insights about the differences. 

 

Here's the article (it's certainly worth a read, especially in today's times):

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aBabxZ9WD2cE

 

What struck me most deeply were two sentiments:

 

"There's a direct relationship between risk and reward. A fantastically rewarding career usually requires you to take fantastic risks."

 

and

 

"A calling is an activity you find so compelling that you wind up organizing your entire self around it -- often to the detriment of your life outside of it."

 

I couldn't agree more.

 

Over the years, I've worked with a good number individuals who dream of having a fantastic and thrilling career, but in some essential way(s) aren't willing to embrace or take on what's required to achieve it. 

 

What is required?  Here's a list of traits and characteristics that I believe are essential to having a fantastic career (or following a calling):

 

-          Boundless energy and commitment

-          A large reserve of hope and faith

-          Self-esteem and self-confidence to know that your dream is achievable

-          Openness to learn from your mistakes and to get help when needed

-          A healthy dose of reality about what's necessary to succeed on this path

-          Risk-acceptance and tolerance

-          The belief that you can't live without pursuing this career

-          A very tough skin

 

I agree with Michael too that neither way is better (a job or calling); they're just different.  "There are costs and benefits to both."  You may have a job you enjoy (or can live with) yet know that what makes you feel passionate and powerful is not your job, but outside interests and experiences.  The key is to follow a path (either personally or professionally) that lights you up on the inside, and motivates you to be all you can be.

 

I'd love to hear your thoughts and insights:

1)       Are you in a job or following a calling?   Which works best for you?

2)       If you feel you have a fantastic career and professional life, what did it take to get it?

3)       What advice can you give for others about the benefits and costs to having a job vs. following a calling?

 

Either way, it's a choice.  But making this choice consciously is the difference between misery and joy.

The Indomitable Donkey

By Kathy Caprino on December 5, 2008 12:05 PM | No Comments | No TrackBacks

This week, I had the great pleasure of speaking with writer extraordinaire, Janene Mascarella (www.janenemascarella.com), a successful contributor to many magazines that we know and love.  We discussed what it takes to thrive in a creative field such as freelance writing.  Janene shared a terrific little story that she sees as a metaphor for what we all must do to move forward in our lives, putting ourselves out there each and every day, with persistence and faith.

 

The story tells of an aging donkey who lives on a farm.  His owner decides it's time to do away with the donkey, believing he's seen better days.  The farmer digs a very deep hole in which to bury the donkey.  In goes the donkey, but each time the farmer throws in a shovel of dirt, the donkey shakes it off, and steps up.  And so it goes for hours: dirt on the donkey... donkey shakes it off, and steps up.  Shakes it off, and steps up.  Finally, after many hours, the donkey has shaken off so much dirt that he reaches level ground, and runs away to safety and freedom.

 

According to Janene, we all need to shake off everything thrown our way that holds us back and keeps us down.  Then we must step up - to what we believe in, and to what we know to be true about ourselves, and what we are capable of.  When an editor rejects a pitch, she shakes it off and moves on to the next idea or editor, undaunted, until an acceptance comes (and it always does!).

 

I think this philosophy couldn't be more appropriate for today's challenges.   In fact, ever since I heard this little story, I can't help but think...what do I need to shake off today? 

 

Question of the week:  What needs to be shaken off in your life? And how can you step up to reach your highest and best self this week?

 

Thank you, Janene, for the inspiration!

 

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This page is an archive of entries from December 2008 listed from newest to oldest.

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