November 2008 Archives

Greetings, and Happy Thanksgiving!

Each day, I receive a quote from a group I love called Abraham-Hicks (see Abraham-Hicks.com - check it out!).  Today's message discussed that the most positive vibrational energy we can emit comes from the thought/belief, "I am content where I am, and am eager for what's to come."

Sounds so simple, but I've found in my life and work that this one belief/thought can be the most elusive of any in our human experience.  Do we in our culture know how to be content today yet eager for what's coming down the path?  I think not.  We haven't received any cultural training or support for this mindset. 

Holding this belief means we feel gratitude each day, down to our toes, as well as faith that all is as it should be.  Further, it implies that what is coming for us is perfect - and for our highest good - and that we'll enjoy it too!

Today, I'm able to hold this thought and really feel it.  Not always the case.  But what a deep, joyful blessing it is to feel appreciative of where you are, and to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that what is coming is certainly something worthy of being embraced and enjoyed, if we allow it.

Relish your day!

Yesterday, I gave a wardrobe and book signing event at Chico's in Danbury, CT, and some interesting findings emerged. First, it's clear that even a random selection of midlife women reflects a high percentage of "breakdown mode." Shoppers talked with me about their jobs, their midlife journeys, and new perspectives about what they truly want, now that they've achieved what they had originally hoped for years ago. Looking out through a pair of 45-year-old eyes can reveal a very different view.

The second notable finding was that a number of people were shopping to calm their feelings of breakdown. It's an escape. As one lovely woman shared, "Ya know, some of us are trying to forget our troubles through shopping, so you might not find people wanting to talk about their crises here!"

As a therapist, I've worked with clients whose shopping addiction was as destructive as a serious drug addiction. Retail therapy might work for the moment, but it certainly has its tradeoffs. I recall years ago using shopping to feel better, when I was in my most toxic job. It worked for the moment, but then feelings of extreme guilt kicked in, which only exacerbated the root problem...feeling alienated and unhappy at my workplace. I know now it's much healthier to leave a job you hate, than shop till you drop!

Have you ever used shopping to soothe your feelings? How well did it work for you?

Greetings. As I've been speaking these days about Breakdown, Breakthrough with other authors, I've been truly awed by their generosity, openness, and support for this new author. These open-hearted men and women around the country have given freely of their insights, guidance, and hard-earned lessons from their triumphs and "bumps" (my new favorite word!) in launching successful books and businesses.

I've wondered about this gift of connection and collaboration, and how new it feels for me. I've also been quite startled by the feedback I'm receiving at my seminars. People come up to tell me that they're deeply moved by my "authenticity."  When I ask them to elaborate, they share that, in their life and work, they feel surrounded by manipulation and a lack of forthrightness and candor, or sincere caring. It seems to me that people are suffering today from an epidemic of inauthenticity. When we encounter real openness in an individual, and experience their heart-felt wish to be of service through honesty and integrity, it's a shock!  We're so unused to it that we're surprised at how inviting and enlivening it feels.

I've learned these past months that asking for help is one of the most powerful things I can do (despite my resistance to it). Being honest about what I don't know seems to have created a new space or what I call a "breakthrough" circle - a circle that invites in other like-minded individuals who wish to be open, supportive, and caring, simply because it feels so good to do so.

My recommendation is to ask for help today. Be open about where you feel out of your comfort zone, where you need some guidance and support. Don't hold back or "hide."  Coming forward openly will help you create your own breakthrough circle, right in your own backyard.

Many happy breakthroughs,
Kathy